slanket As Seen on TV!

slanket We’ve gone down the wormhole, people.

On Saturday, the in-laws dropped off a pair of Valentine’s Day presents for us. Why they feel the need to do such a thing for such a B.S. non-holiday, I can’t say. Perhaps the gifts were meant as something of a joke. You’ll see why below.

The first gift was something called “The Slanket.” A blanket with sleeves. Just like those silly TV commercials for another blanket with sleeves called “The Snuggie.” The very thing that I’ve savagely mocked on this blog before. Apparently there’s quite a rivalry between these two sartorial disasters. My wife found a Facebook group called “Snuggie vs. Slanket,” wherein the members debate the relative merits and drawbacks of their preferred brand of druid-dork outfit. There are also multiple Slanket fan clubs on Facebook, according to her.

Why, I cannot fathom.

Our Slanket is pastel pink. It came in a bag with a label card that reads, “Welcome to the world of Slanket ownership. You are now considered a friend to all of us at The Slanket. The only thing left to do is find the nearest couch and get cozy with it.”

The other gift we received was — I cannot belive I’m publicly admitting we now own these things — a box of ShamWows. The commercials would have you believe that these are the greatest things to ever come out of Germany — screw Goethe (many did, by the way). I haven’t yet discovered whether or not that’s the case, as we’re still too ashamed to open the box.

Although we have been getting this strange temptation to dump a couple of bottles of soda and wine on our carpet and see what happens, I’ll probably just go find the nearest couch and get cozy with it, instead.


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chimpanzee attack Chimpanzee Attack Caught On 911 Call

chimpanzee attack “A Connecticut woman pleaded for police to ‘please hurry’ to save a friend from an attack by a pet chimpanzee, according to emotional 911 recordings released Tuesday by Stamford police. ‘He’s ripping her apart,’ Sandra Herold, 70, tells dispatchers about her pet, Travis. With the chimp squealing in the background, Herold cries out, ‘He’s killed my friend!’ The victim, Charla Nash, 55, remains hospitalized with life-threatening injuries after the chimp, once featured in television commercials for Coca-Cola and Old Navy, attacked her Monday afternoon, police said.”

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charla nash Police: Pet chimpanzee, Travis, attacks woman in Stamford

charla nash BY Edgar Sandoval, Bill Hutchinson and Helen Kennedy
DAILY NEWS STAFF WRITERS

Travis the chimpanzee attempting to enter a vehicle after attacking a woman in Stamford Ct.

Travis the chimpanzee attempting to enter a vehicle after attacking a woman in Stamford Ct.
Escaped chimpanzee Travis is coaxed into a waiting sport utility vehicle in downtown Stamford, Conn. in 2003. O’Rourke/AP/AP

Escaped chimpanzee Travis is coaxed into a waiting sport utility vehicle in downtown Stamford, Conn. in 2003.

A teenage ape raised like a human went berserk in Connecticut Monday, badly mauling a friend of his owner before cops shot and killed him.

Sandy Herold tried to stop the rampage by stabbing her beloved pet chimp, Travis, with a butcher knife, cops said.

“In an effort to stop him, she had to go after her pet of many years,” said Stamford, Conn., police Capt. Rich Conklin.

But Travis, a normally docile 200-pound chimp that starred in a TV commercial for Old Navy cargo shorts and enjoyed human activities like drinking wine and surfing the Internet, could not be stopped.

When cops drove up around 4 p.m., the burly ape tore off a cruiser’s side mirror and opened the door.

The officers had “nowhere to retreat,” Conklin said, and shot him several times.

Bleeding from stab wounds and gunshots, 15-year-old Travis staggered down the driveway and into Herold’s house, where he collapsed and died in a zoolike cage the size of a room.

Conklin said it wasn’t clear what set him off, but theorized Travis’ bout with Lyme disease - which can cause panic attacks, paranoia, personality changes and mood swings in people - could be connected. Travis was taking medication for the disease, Conklin said.

“These actions have not been seen in the chimpanzee before. This animal had been raised as a member of the family,” Conklin said.

Conklin said Travis pounced on the victim, 55-year-old Charla Nash, as soon as she got out of her car to try to help Herold get the ape back in his cage.

He said Travis had been roaming in the yard after getting his hands on the house keys and freeing himself.

Herold, 70, had given the pyscho simian tea with Xanax to calm him down just before Nash arrived, cops said, and called 911 as the chimp mauled her friend.

A 911 dispatcher could hear the animal screaming in the background as he ripped into the victim.

Nash was in very critical condition at Stamford Hospital Monday night. She suffered serious facial injuries and may not survive, Conklin said. Her brother Steve Nash was rushing up from Virginia.

Herold told cops that Travis may not have recognized Charla Nash because she wore her normally long, flowing hair up Monday.

Herold and her husband, Jerome, who treated Travis almost like a child after the death of their daughter more than a decade ago, were distraught.

Conklin said the couple had owned Travis for close to 14 years.

Sandy Herold was taken to the hospital and treated for shock. Two cops were treated for minor injuries.

Neighbor Anthony Macary, 49, was flabbergasted that Travis had turned violent.

“He was a very friendly monkey. He was like a nephew,” Macary said.

Herold’s friend Lynn Mecca said Travis had known Charla Nash for years.

“I don’t know why he would do that,” she said.

But Mecca’s ex-husband Don Mecca said the ape had a mean streak and often was aggressive. He said he had warned Nash to be careful around Travis. “I told her, ‘Charla, don’t get close to that monkey when he is not in that cage,’” Mecca said.

Nash’s brother Steve said his sister was aware Travis could be moody.

“She knows at times [the chimp] had been a problem,” Steve Nash said. “She knows it wasn’t a healthy situation.”

The celebrity monkey was a media darling, however.

A 2003 feature story in the Stamford Advocate reported he liked to surf the Internet and watched TV with a remote, preferring baseball games if he could find them.

He watered plants, fed hay to the Herolds’ horses, ate at the table with his owners and drank wine from a stemmed glass.

Travis was known to the town cops because they worked with the Herolds’ towing company, Desire Me Towing. He would ride in the trucks, waving.

When the Herolds’ daughter was killed in a car crash, the ape appeared to mourn, holding her photo sadly, they told the paper.

In October 2003, the chimp made headlines when he jumped out of his owners’ SUV and commandeered a major intersection, holding cops at bay for two hours.

Travis had been in the vehicle when it stopped at a light, and someone in the next vehicle threw something at him, hitting him through an open window.

He unbuckled his seat belt and jumped out of the vehicle, wanting to play.

Cops arrived in a dozen cruisers but could not corral Travis, who was capering in the street, occasionally rolling on his back and charging at officers.

Officers, who had no tranquilizer gun, tried using cookies, macadamia nuts and ice cream to lure Travis into a cruiser. Nothing worked until he tired and got back into the Herolds’ SUV.

No charges were filed in that case. It is not illegal to own an exotic pet in Connecticut.

“That was more mischievous than vicious,” Conklin said. “It became something of a legend.”

Travis was also something of a celebrity in his younger days.

He co-starred with Morgan Fairchild in an Old Navy ad, filmed a TV pilot and appeared on “The Maury Povich Show.”

“Our closest relatives, we would like to think they can be domesticated,” Stamford Mayor Dannel Malloy said Monday night. “Unfortunately, this is not always the case.”

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woot Woot Off Happening Right Now

woot We all know how much you like to Woot, so hitch up your pants and get thee to the Woot Off before all the good (somewhat good? crappy?) stuff gets taken. [Woot!]

woot off, Woot, Merchandise, Sales, Dealzmodo
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bearingpoint chapter 11 Companies That Might Not Survive 2009

bearingpoint chapter 11 An interesting story about companies that might not survive 2009.

With consumers shutting their wallets and corporate revenues plunging, the business landscape may start to resemble a graveyard in 2009. Household names like Circuit City and Linens 'n Things have already perished. And chances are, those bankruptcies were just an early warning sign of a much broader epidemic.

Moody's Investors Service, for instance, predicts that the default rate on corporate bonds - which foretells bankruptcies - will be three times higher in 2009 than in 2008, and 15 times higher than in 2007. That could equate to 25 significant bankruptcies per month.

We examined ratings from Moody's and data from other sources to develop a short list of potential victims that ought to be familiar to most consumers. Many of these firms are in industries directly hit by the slowdown in consumer spending, such as retail, automotive, housing and entertainment.

But there are other common threads. Most of these firms have limited cash for a rainy day, and a lot of debt, with large interest payments due over the next year. In ordinary times, it might not be so hard to refinance loans, or get new ones, to help keep the cash flowing. But in an acute credit crunch it's a different story, and at companies where sales are down and going lower, skittish lenders may refuse to grant any more credit. It's a terrible time to be cash-poor.

That's why Moody's assigns most of these firms its lowest rating for short-term liquidity. And all the firms on this list have long-term debt that Moody's rates Caa or lower, which means the borrower is considered at least a "very high" credit risk.

Once a company defaults on its debt, or fails to make a payment, the next step is usually a Chapter 11 bankruptcy filing. Some firms continue to operate while in Chapter 11, retaining many of their employees. Those firms often shed debt, restructure, and emerge from bankruptcy as healthier companies.

But it takes fresh financing to do that, and with money scarce, more bankrupt firms than usual are likely to liquidate - like Circuit City. That's why corporate failures are likely to be a major drag on the economy in 2009: In a liquidation, the entire workforce often gets axed, with little or no severance. That will only add to unemployment, which could hit 9 or even 10 percent by the end of the year.

It's possible that none of the firms on this list will liquidate, or even declare Chapter 11. Some may come up with unexpected revenue or creative financing that helps avert bankruptcy, while others could be purchased in whole or in part by creditors or other investors. But one way or another, the following 15 firms will probably look a lot different a year from now than they do today:

1. Rite Aid. (Ticker symbol: RAD; about 100,000 employees; 1-year stock-price decline: 92%). This drugstore chain tried to boost its performance by acquiring competitors Brooks and Eckerd in 2007. But there have been some nasty side effects, like a huge debt load that makes it the most leveraged drugstore chain in the U.S., according to Zacks Equity Research. That big retail investment came just as megadiscounter WalMart was starting to sell prescription drugs, and consumers were starting to cut bank on spending. Management has twice lowered its outlook for 2009. Prognosis: Mounting losses, with no turnaround in sight.
2. Claire's Stores. (Privately owned; about 18,000 employees.) Leon Black's once-renowned private-equity firm, the Apollo Group, paid $3.1 billion for this trendy teen-focused accessory store in 2007, when buyout funds were bulging. But cash flow has been negative for much of the past year and analysts believe Claire's is close to defaulting on its debt. A horrible retail outlook for 2009 offers no relief, suggesting Claire's could follow Linens 'n Things - another Apollo purchase - and declare Chapter 11, possibly shuttering all of its 3,000-plus stores.
3. Chrysler. (Privately owned; about 55,000 employees). It's never a good sign when management insists the company is not going out of business, which is what CEO Bob Nardelli has been doing lately. Of the three Detroit automakers, Chrysler is the most endangered, with a product portfolio that's overreliant on gas-guzzling trucks and SUVs and almost totally devoid of compelling small cars. A recent deal with Fiat seems dubious, since the Italian automaker doesn't have to pony up any money, and Chrysler desperately needs cash. The company is quickly burning through $4 billion in government bailout money, and with car sales down 40 percent from recent peaks, Chrysler may be the weakling that can't cut it in tough times.
4. Dollar Thrifty Automotive Group. (DTG; about 7,000 employees; stock down 95%). This car-rental company is a small player compared to Enterprise, Hertz, and Avis Budget. It's also more reliant on leisure travelers, and therefore more susceptible to a downturn as consumers cut spending. Dollar Thrifty is also closely tied to Chrysler, which supplies 80 percent of its fleet. Moody's predicts that if Chrysler declares Chapter 11, Dollar Thrifty would suffer deeply as well.
5. Realogy Corp. (Privately owned; about 13,000 employees). It's the biggest real-estate brokerage firm in the country, but that's a bad thing when there are double-digit declines in both sales and prices, as there were in 2009. Realogy, which includes the Coldwell Banker, ERA, and Sotheby's franchises, also carries a high debt load, dating to its purchase by the Apollo Group in 2007 - the very moment when the housing market was starting to invert from a soaring ride into a sickening nosedive. Realogy has been trying to refinance much of its debt, prompting lawsuits. One deal was denied by a judge in December, reducing the firm's already tight wiggle room.
6. Station Casinos. (Privately owned, about 14,000 employees). Las Vegas has already been creamed by a biblical real-estate bust, and now it may face the loss of its home-grown gambling joints, too. Station - which runs 15 casinos off the strip that cater to locals - recently failed to make a key interest payment, which is often one of the last steps before a Chapter 11 filing. For once, the house seems likely to lose.
7. Loehmann's Capital Corp. (Privately owned; about 1,500 employees). This clothing chain has the right formula for lean times, offering women's clothing at discount prices. But the consumer pullback is hitting just about every retailer, and Loehmann's has a lot less cash to ride out a drought than competitors like Nordstrom Rack and TJ Maxx. If Loehmann's doesn't get additional financing in 2009 - a dicey proposition, given skyrocketing unemployment and plunging spending - the chain could run out of cash.
8. Sbarro. (Privately owned; about 5,500 employees). It's not the pizza that's the problem. Many of this chain's 1,100 storefronts are in malls, which is a double whammy: Traffic is down, since consumers have put away their wallets. Sbarro can't really boost revenue by adding a breakfast or late-night menu, like other chains have done. And competitors like Domino's and Pizza Hut have less debt and stronger cash flow, which could intensify pressure on Sbarro as key debt payments come due in 2009.
9. Six Flags. (SIX; about 30,000 employees; stock down 84%). This theme-park operator has been losing money for several years, and selling off properties to try to pay down debt and get back into the black. But the ride may end prematurely. Moody's expects cash flow to be negative in 2009, and if consumers aren't spending during the peak summer season, that could imperil the company's ability to pay debts coming due later this year and in 2010.
10. Blockbuster. (BBI; about 60,000 employees; stock down 57%). The video-rental chain has burned cash while trying to figure out how to maximize fees without alienating customers. Its operating income has started to improve just as consumers are cutting back, even on movies. Video stores in general are under pressure as they compete with cable and Internet operators offering the same titles. A key test of Blockbuster's viability will come when two credit lines expire in August. One possible outcome, according to Valueline, is that investors take the company private and then go public again when market conditions are better.
11. Krispy Kreme. (KKD; about 4,000 employees; stock down 50%). The donuts might be good, but Krispy Kreme overestimated Americans' appetite - and that's saying something. This chain overexpanded during the donut heyday of the 1990s - taking on a lot of debt - and now requires high volumes to meet expenses and interest payments. The company has cut costs and closed underperforming stores, but still hasn't earned an operating profit in three years. And now that consumers are cutting back on everything, such improvements may fail to offset top-line declines, leading Krispy Kreme to seek some kind of relief from lenders over the next year.
12. Landry's Restaurants. (LNY; about 17,000 employees; stock down 66%). This restaurant chain, which operates Chart House, Rainforest Café, and other eateries, needs $400 million in new financing to finalize a buyout deal dating to last June. If lenders come through, the company should have enough cash to ride out the recession. But at least two banks have already balked, leading to downgrades of the company's debt and the prospect of a cash-flow crunch.
13. Sirius Satellite Radio. (SIRI - parent company; about 1,000 employees; stock down 96%). The music rocks, but satellite radio has yet to be profitable, and huge contracts for performers like Howard Stern are looking unsustainable. Sirius is one of two satellite-radio services owned by parent company Sirius XM, which was formed when Sirius and XM merged last year. So far, the merger hasn't generated the savings needed to make the company profitable, and Moody's thinks there's a "high likelihood" that Sirius will fail to repay or refinance its debt in 2009. One outcome could be a takeover, at distressed prices, by other firms active in the satellite business.
14. Trump Entertainment Resorts Holdings. (TRMP; about 9,500 employees; stock down 94%). The casino company made famous by The Donald has received several extensions on interest payments, while it tries to sell at least one of its Atlantic City properties and pay down a stack of debt. But with casino buyers scarce, competition circling, and gamblers nursing their losses from the recession, Trump Entertainment may face long odds of skirting bankruptcy.
15. BearingPoint. (BGPT; about 16,000 employees; stock down 21%). This Virginia-based consulting firm, spun out of KPMG in 2001, is struggling to solve its own operating problems. The firm has consistently lost money, revenue has been falling, and management stopped issuing earnings guidance in 2008. Stable government contracts generate about 30 percent of the firm's business, but the firm may sell other divisions to help pay off debt. With a key interest payment due in April, management needs to hustle - or devise its own exit strategy.

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chimp attack You Had Us At Chimp Attack

chimp attack That chimp attack in Connecticut? Startling, upsetting story, to say the least.

200-pound pet chimpanzee in Stamford, Connecticut severely mauls a woman. Owner stabs chimp repeatedly but fails to stop the attack. Chimp goes after police when they arrive on the scene. Police officer fatally shoots chimp. You may know chimp from Old Navy ads (the ones with Morgan Fairchild). Chimp knew how to use a computer, drink wine “from a stemmed glass,” bathe himself.

Really, no need to sensationalize this story. Just the basic facts (the first sentence or two above, really) should suffice to grab folks’ attention. (Not to mention a woman is critically injured, so some restraint and tastefulness are in order).

But….. no. That urge to sex up the story prevails. How’s it done? A few examples courtesy of cable and the tabloids.

Emphasize that the “rampage” occurred in a nice neighborhood, as on CNN ‘s American Morning this morning:

…this all unfolded in the upscale community of Stamford, Connecticut.

Inspire nightmares by invoking a popular children’s character, like the New York Post on its cover today: “FURIOUS GEORGE!”

Play up the chimp’s “star” status (not your average ape), as in these two story teases on CNN this morning:

A celebrity chimp goes after police and leaves a woman clinging to life.

And:

Gap commercial chimp on a rampage.

(As well as this New York Daily News front-page headline: “ATTACK OF THE TV APE.”)

Or, while emphasizing the ape’s acting career, also cast it as some sort of simian Hannibal Lecter. Fox & Friends’ Gretchen Carlson (emphasis mine):

Very, very serious story about this TV chimpanzee. Did you hear about this? 200-pound chimp, once a star, goes on a rampage in Connecticut and tries to eat a woman alive.

Really. You had us at chimp attack.

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worx wt620k planer Motorola Bluetooth USB Dongle

worx wt620k planer Sincere Apologies to Danny Kaye (Who Should, in Turn, Apologize to the Congolese)

Each morning at midnight there’s a new thing up at Woot’s web site / And a dumb product description that tells me why I’ve got to buy it

And although I check it daily, it seems like usually
Whatever they’re selling, well, the thing’s just not for me

Oh, bongo, bongo, bongo not another Bluetooth dongle
Ai yi yi yi yi yi
Bingle, bangle, bongle I don’t need a Bluetooth dongle I refuse to buy
Don’t want no PC-cell-phone data transfer
That’s just no fun
So no matter how they coax me
I don’t want one

I read through the forum just to see if there was any hype
(The Woot forum? Wha’ hopp’n?)
I saw somebody say this thing could let you use your Bluetooth headset with Skype
Or, if you’re into gaming, as a Bluetooth gaming mic
But, man, it’s been years since any game came out I like

Oh, bongo, bongo, bongo not another Bluetooth dongle
Ai yi yi yi yi yi
Bingle, bangle, bongle I don’t need a Bluetooth dongle I refuse to buy
Don’t want to back up all my cell phone contacts
On my PC
So no matter what the price is
It’s not for me

Warranty: 90 Day Woot Limited Warranty Features:

* Gives your PC computer or laptop bluetooth capabilities
* Back up your cellphone contacts to a computer (bluetooth capable phone required)
* Use a bluetooth headset as a microphone on a PC, great for voice communication applications
* Pair with another computer that has bluetooth (or get 2) and transfer files
* Small design, take it with you where ever you need it
* Range up to 30 feet
* Bluetooth 1.1 compatible
* Blue LED indicator light
* Pairs with up to 7 devices
* Dimensions: 2”L x 5/8” W x 3/8” H
* Weight: .4 oz

In the box:

* Motorola SYN0717A Bluetooth USB Dongle


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gilles bensimon Gilles Bensimon or Jills Bensimon or Kelly Killoren Bensimon?

gilles bensimon Gilles Bensimon or Jills Bensimon?

Who is Gilles Bensimon or Jills Bensimon? That made me curious too. Why do people search for Gilles Bensimon or Jills? I think what they mean is Kelly Killoren Bensimon. Kelly Killoren Bensimon is the new star of the "The Real Housewives of New York City."

I don't have the Kelly Killoren Bensimon photos but there's a video from MSNBC. Video after the jump.


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chimp 911 call Chimp attack 911 call: ‘He’s ripping her apart’ - CNN.com

chimp 911 call Chimp attack 911 call: ‘He’s ripping her apart’ - CNN.com
…Conklin said the chimp had been acting “rambunctious” earlier, prompting Herold to put Xanax in a cup of tea for him to drink. He did not know if the animal had been prescribed the medicine or if Herold had ever given her pet such a mixture before.

I wonder if chimps get disinhibited with benzos like little kids. You haven’t lived until you’ve seen a child given just enough Versed to lose their inhibitions an be wide awake, and insane.


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RipDev Releases Kali Anti-Piracy Service

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